I was about 15 or so miles in to my ride when my cycling computer basically stopped functioning. I was right next to the Mirromar Outlets, so I turned in to figure out what had happened. I stopped right by the lake there (they do weekend water ski shows for free…great way to pass the time while your wife spends all your money in the shops) and started fiddling with the computer. As it turns out a quick re-sync fixed it, but instead of hopping back on my bike I decided to just take in the surroundings and have a granola break.
While kicking back, sitting there all sweaty (80 plus degrees today) munching my energy bar, I was inadvertently/mindlessly watching a woman unpack a ton of boxes from her car and carry them into a restaurant. I guess this caught her eye, as she approached me and started a conversation about my bike and cycling in general. She told me she used to cycle quite a bit, but with two restaurants to manage, time was now a premium leaving her bike collecting dust in the garage. So far nothing out of the ordinary. Just two cyclists talking about their bikes, but then she went into cougar mode and, let me quote this correctly, “invited me to ride with her”, followed by a wink and a big smile. Frankly I can’t remember if she said “with” or not as the wink and smile caught me off guard, as I realized I was preyed upon by the Florida Cougar.
Now we all know Florida has it’s endangered Florida Panther, but it is also teaming with Cougars, which are defined by the Urban Dictionary as “An attractive woman in her 30’s or 40’s who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill.”
Not really knowing what her definition of “kill” was, I just continued to politely converse with her. She was, as the definition describes, attractive and in her early 40’s, with a very elaborate tattoo on her left shoulder which ran down her back and disappeared beneath her spring dress (this is sounding like a cheap romance novel). To make a long story short, and thankfully glossing over all said cheap romance novel material, she gave me a gift certificate to her restaurant, offered me a smoothy for the ride back, and input her number onto my iPhone.
I guess I survived an attack from a Florida Cougar. I’ll put the commendation badge on the shelf right next to the I survived Hurricane Charlie badge. So anyone want a gift certificate to a trendy burger joint? Just be advised that there are predatory cats on premise.
Today’s odd experience of a ride was down the roadways of Treeline avenue again. Here are today’s numbers. BTW, the elbow and arm felt fine.
Route: Tree Line
Started: Mar 17, 2011 9:10:21 AM
Ride Time: 1:36:56
Stopped Time: 1:07:27
Distance: 28.29 miles
Average Speed: 17.51 miles/h
Fastest Speed: 25.55 miles/h
Ascent: 207 feet
Descent: 174 feet