The Flop of Disgrace

Dear Angela,

Please note that unclipping from your pedals when stopping is required to avoid having a run in with a little thing we call gravity. See according to three little laws, created by the original, pre-Beatles invasion, mop-topped Brit named Isaac Newton, “Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it”…in other words, the velocity of a body remains constant unless the body is acted upon by an external force, ergo the pavement.

Further analysis reveals that the acceleration of a body (a) is parallel and directly proportional to the net force (F) and inversely proportional to the mass (m), mathematically giving us F=ma. Thus, the net force applied to a body produces a proportional acceleration. In other words, if a body is accelerating, then there is a force on it, again, the pavement rushing up and smacking you silly.

Lastly, good old Newton stated that , “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”, meaning that the mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear, which can also be described mathematically by the following equation…

Bike Stops + Failed to Unclip = The Flop of Disgrace

Luckily, a few of us were there to soften the impact, although you nearly triggered the little known 4th Law of Motion (this one created by Isaac’s half brother Ringo) where the perpetual motion of a Flop of Disgrace (FOP) can and will cause other clipped in riders (r) to tumble in synchrony, mathematically described as…

Domino Effect=FOPr

So Angela, I remind you that your feet are clipped to your pedals. Next time you come rolling up to a stop, please do not forget to unclip. Failure to to do so will result in that slow motion flop which will always do more damage to ones ego than to your bike or body. But, and this is of extreme importance, if you must flop, be sure no one is around to witness it when it does happen…particularly if they have a camera in hand 😉

Respectfully,

The Management

Route: Gateway Loop + Airport
Ride Time: 2:58:57
Stopped Time: 1:14:41
Distance: 49.46 miles
Average: 16.58 mph
Fastest Speed: 27.48 mph
Ascent: 1631 feet
Descent: 1631 feet
Calories: 3091

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2 thoughts on “The Flop of Disgrace

  1. I’ve only had one Flop of Disgrace in my life, but I sure didn’t have a smile on my face afterwards! I had my FOD in front of a Navy Base and before I could even stand up four Navy Corpsman came running to my aid (they were in a car behind me). The only thing hurt was my pride!

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